Infirmities - None of Us Are Getting Out Alive

…. Just ask my mother! There is a reason for the photo and its caption displayed above.

First, an explanation for the title of this small scribble.

My Mother aka Mutha has always said, “When I go, do not bury me within three days. Let some time run beyond that. I just may be coming back!”

In truth we her children are loathe to violate that precept. It ought to be interesting, right?

Now, as to the photo above.

This is my bells and whistles rowing machine. I got it about a month and a half ago. It’s a HYDROW, if you will, the PELOTON of rowing machines. I love it! You get, in 20 minutes, an almost (85%) full body workout and it wears you out. And it spares your lower back from the fast walking/jogging pounding and ensuing weakening of support that soon enough comes around, not just to visit, but to stay. Yes, it was pricey but I think worth it.

Smooth in its operation and supplemented by hundreds of rows from all over (Charles River, Spain, France, etc. you name it), all of which have  rowing coaches who help, urge and encourage you along. I enjoy it very much!

But not right now. Dammit! Last week, after my morning shower, I nimbly departed the tub, stepped upon the bath mat which suddenly slipped that way and I went the other way (Ah, those damnable rules of physics!), smacking my left rib cage but good on the sidewall of the tub. It was a fine, direct and powerful hit. It took my breath away and as I pulled myself up, I realized that I might be injured. A quick, hold-my-breath digital palpation revealed nothing so I figure I just bruised myself but good.

The next morning things were manifestly worse so I went over to the ER at one of our local hospitals and got checked out. X-rays revealed no full breaks or fractures in my rib cage but an almost infinitesimal small chip had cracked out of the top of my eighth rib. Big pain does indeed often come in little bangs. Recommended treatment these days are no strapping it down (impedes breathing), 600 mgs. of Tylenol, some supplemental Oxycontin and ‘tincture of take it easy’; “you’ll know when you’re getting better.”

And happily and decidedly I am but for the next few more days, temporarily more infirm than not. A pain in the ass. I don’t grimace as much and no longer does it take a gigantic, calculated, uncomfortable lurch to heave myself out of bed or off the couch. Is there a lesson here? How about the inevitability of the sudden, surprise physical compromise. It was a sneak attack platformed on being a little older, a little less flexible, the necessity of an amplified ‘Let’s Be Careful Out There’ attitude. Aggravating. So it goes.

Now onto other matters floating about between my ears.

I am yearning to travel to someplace special. This summer I’ve been up in North Carolina, Virginia, Delaware, New York City, Aiken, San Francisco and Berkeley, Main Line Philadelphia and back to North Carolina. And my beloved football season is on the near horizon. That surely is a gracious plenty but I’d like to go to Thailand and Spain and Scandinavia and too, to parts of Canada I’ve not seen. I want to go back to Paris and different places in France and Italy. I want to go to Budapest. Throw Ireland and Scotland in there too. Now, I’m beginning to sound like that great, old line, “I haven’t been everywhere but it’s on my list.”

There are two problems to my sought wanderlust.

First, where is all this Covid variant and Monkey Pox whatever going? And how are various and sundry nations dealing with it..what are the requirements and so forth ?

Second, I want to travel with someone. I want to be able to share the experience. I am not a good solo traveler. I tried it a couple of times some years ago and it was pretty much consistent with a mouthful of ashes. Just not my cup of tea. (Oh yeah, make sure England is on the list too…)

As many of you know, I’m starting my fourth book, ‘OK, I’VE HEARD ENOUGH’. It deals with money, deceit and things equine. I’m learning a lot on the fly and need plenty of educating. My friend Caitlin, wonderful talented rider and trainer (She’s a superstar but if you told her that, she’ll give you a look of ‘skeptical Aw Shucks-but it’s the truth) has been kind enough to learn me up on many things. What a resource…was on the phone with her early this morning plugging holes in my Need To Know list.

Now, all I’ve got to get done is my 2021 tax work sheets for my accountants and I’m off and running. Procrastination must end. So be it.

I was up in Winston-Salem for a few days last week and visited with my pretty amazing 97 year old Mother (She actually more than half way through her 98TH  year…) She still pretty sharp but fading in the late afternoon a bit; that’s to be expected. She has turned into an expert on Turner Classic Movies. Also, had good visits with my brother and my original law partner. He’s still hitting the law pretty good and my brother can still crunch a balance sheet the way I read the comics in the morning. Those two are two solid brains. A worthwhile travel, with plenty of serious and also laughter contained therein.

Lastly, two (well, kind of three) book recommendations. And, a Don’t Bother too.

I had hit pause on WAR AND PEACE for a week while I finished up some other loose ends. Picked it back up yesterday and am around 400 pages in. It’s pretty interesting and entertaining enough. I have yet to find it among the greatest things I’ve ever read and that revelation may well never come to me but I’m going to read it in full and thus will be able to say, “I read the whole thing!” I think that will be reward enough.

Now, the ‘Don’t Bother’…A DARK ROOM IN GLITTER BALL CITY…by David Domine…Sorry Mr. Domine but ‘Murder Secrets and Scandal in Old Louisville’ is trite and infantile within this type of genre. It got a good review in the Wall Street Journal but one wag’s pleasure is another dog’s dismay. Fifty pages in, I couldn’t stand it’s poor writing and tricked up dialogue so as is my rule, at fifty pages of no traction, lay it down and give it away. I’ve got plenty of books stacked on my steps and feel confident that I can stay occupied. 

But dear reader, don’t despair. Here are a couple I really enjoyed. Both were helpful too.

CHATTER by Ethan Kross addresses ‘The Voice In Our Head, Why It Matters and How To Harness It.’ Or put another way, when we over-think, over-focus, start to obsess on something-and almost always to our detriment and agitation-here are the cures. They work. Try it. You’ll like it.

THE KINGDOM OF SAND by Andrew Holleran. The story of two older gay guys living forty miles west of Gainesville out in the sticks. I was enchanted by this little book. The ending is eminently predictable but is reached with thoughtful wisdom and expansive humanity. It is well written with a sense of humor and powers of observation that make one pause and think. Highly Recommend. 

And that’s a wrap for this go-round. Keep reading and thinking and stay safe! All my best,

Vernon